Short Update On A Long Day

by Sarah

After being off work for 6 months, I returned today. I was welcomed back with smiles, flowers, questions and over 5000 unread emails. I spent the morning on the phone with various help desks trying to get my work life reactivated and chatting with the few people who realized I’d snuck in under the radar. I’ve had a lot of questions about if or when I’d return to work. The bottom line is it costs a lot of money to stay alive. For now, I’m working.

I left at lunch to go to my dad’s follow up appointment at the urologist. He had surgery to remove a cancerous tumor from his bladder 10 days ago. The doctor informed us today it was invasive and aggressive and recommended we go to Mayo Clinic. Dad’s options are one of two extensive, invasive surgeries or a combination of chemotherapy and radiation. The PET scan is up next and will give us a better idea of the extent of the cancer. He’s had increasing pain in his hip and now walks either with a cane or crutches and we’re concerned his previous prostate or lung cancer, or now his bladder cancer, has metastasized.

I left his appointment and went across the street for my own labs, doctor appointment and chemo. I left with 4 more holes in me than when I went in and went back to work for the remainder of the evening.

How am I? I’m hanging in there. I want to see the PET scan. I’m concerned about my lack of paid time off. I haven’t accrued any while being off work and want to be able to be with my dad for whatever comes next. I’m trying not to get ahead of myself and the facts. Day by day and sometimes moment by moment.

What am I grateful for? My dad’s doctor knows the limits of his expertise. I feel good enough to navigate this with him. Spring is around the corner which means more daylight and better weather conditions for his travel to appointments.

Today I got to see both of my parents and spend a bit of time with them. Today I got to look into both of their eyes and hear their voices. Today we’re all still kicking.

Thanks for checking in, thanks for reading. Much love from me to you.